UNITED BY GRIEF – FINDING FRIENDSHIP THROUGH BEREAVEMENT SUPPORT
CRUSE SCOTLAND AND SCOTMID FUNERALS THANKED BY CLIENTS
Three friends who were brought together online in 2022 through a free grief support service, have reunited in person to thank the charity – Cruse Scotland – as well as Scotmid Funerals who provided the funding to make it possible.
Pamela from Glasgow, Viv from Aberdeen and Nik from Dumfries were strangers when they first reached out to the bereavement support specialists for help after each individually experiencing the loss of a parent. Little did they know that they would find new friends and a support network within each other, through Cruse Scotland’s online group that offers support in the first few months of grief.
Pamela joined the online based Early Support Group following the unexpected death of her mum, Millie, at the age of 63.
“I was reluctant to reach out and felt really nervous, but you were made to feel so welcome and at ease. You quickly realised there was a shared connection with everyone else on the video call and there was no judgement, it was a safe space.”
The Early Support group ran weekly for six weeks and was facilitated by professional counsellors with support from volunteers.
Nik tells us; “Despite the nerves I had before joining, after the first session I thought ‘I’m so glad I did that’ – it was refreshing.”
Viv agreed; “I have friends but you sometimes feel like you could be bothering them. After the funeral when things start to quieten down and people don’t reach out as often, speaking with this group – people who know what you’re going through because they’re going through it too – makes a big difference.”
Pamela added; “One of the things I was struggling to cope with most was facing my wedding without having my mum – the person I spoke to every day. This group supported me so much that I didn’t want to miss a single session, so even joined one of the sessions live from my honeymoon in Mexico!”
Cruse Scotland offers a wide range of bereavement support services, including 1-to-1 counselling sessions, a Helpline and specialist support for children and young people which are all free of charge to ensure there are no barriers for those most impacted by the cost-of-living crisis.
To help keep this a free service, the charity relies on income from sources such as funding grants, and it is largely thanks to support of £25,500 over the past three years from Scotmid Funerals towards the Early Support Programme, that Cruse Scotland was able to provide these Support Groups for recently bereaved people.
Fiona Arnott-Barron, CEO, Cruse Scotland, said; “We cannot thank Scotmid Funerals enough for their support of our early support service, which has allowed us to bring some relief to so many people across Scotland who have struggled to cope in the early aftermath of losing someone very close.”
“We hope to continue providing this service in the future as we know there are many more people out there like Viv, Nik and Pamela who would benefit from our support in the first stages of grief. Indeed, just over the past 12 months, we’ve seen a 33% rise in demand for our Early Support Programme.”
Scotmid’s James Blackburn, Head of Funerals said “We understand that grief can be an incredibly isolating experience, which is why supporting Cruse Scotland’s Early Support Programme has been so important to us. We’re proud to have contributed to a service that not only helps people navigate their loss but also fosters meaningful connections and friendships during such a difficult time. It’s truly heartening to see how this support has brought people together, offering comfort and companionship when it’s needed most.”
It was only after the sessions drew to an end did members of the support group who were keen to stay in touch, reach out to the facilitators to express their wish, and those who were happy to exchange numbers set up a WhatsApp group.
Viv said; “The depth of our friendship now is such that it’s not just about the deaths. When it comes to those difficult dates however we’re always there checking in and supporting each other that way.”
Nik added; “Yeah, things like the first anniversaries, the first Christmas, Pamela facing her wedding without her mum, or when my twin daughters were graduating we found it tough without my dad, their Papa, being there, but Viv and Pamela remembered and just reached out.”
Making that first step to reach out can be daunting, but the key message from the group of friends to anyone who is finding things tough after the death of a loved one, is; “Do it!”
Pamela reassured; “It’s a strength to ask for help, not a failure.”
Cruse Scotland have been supporting bereaved people across the nation for over 60 years.
Cruse offer vital bereavement support regardless of age, the relationship to the deceased, and no matter how recent or long ago the death occurred.
Their services are offered at no cost and in a variety of ways, including; a listening service through our Helpline, online text based grief support, early support for those who are very recently bereaved, one-to-one professional grief counselling, specialist support for children, young people and families, and more.
Cruse Scotland’s Freephone Bereavement Helpline number is 0808 802 6161
(Open weekdays 9am-8pm & weekends 10am-2pm)
Webchat and access to further services: www.crusescotland.org.uk
